Of Fodder, Frames and Fancies

Perfectly alone

2011-01-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

A colleague asked the other day, " So you were feeling lonely on christmas weekend?". And without batting an eyelid I responded, " Lonely? , gosh I don't ever feel lonely anymore."

I am aware of being alone; say once a month. But I do feel dejected? I would have to say no. 'Lonely' and 'bored' are two words I haven't used in a long time. Thankfully to the internet, friends-only-a-phone-call-away and books. And then there's always the writing, DVD's and the contents of a fridge to keep one occupied.

And if all else fails, one can never have too much sleep!

Just had to write this down..

2010-05-17T09:03:00.001-07:00

Scenario 1 : OSCE practice

Me: so yeah, I had a one night stand the other day.
E : oh. What kind of sex do you practise?
Me : You mean like a religion?
E : Erm.. *baffled*

A minute later, once the laughter had been quelled by E

E : I need to ask a few more details. Was it a vaginal sex?

Uproar again.

Nice to see that some people have
a. managed to maintain their innocence through the 5 yrs of uni
b. never taken a sexual history before

xx

Edge of desire

2010-05-15T15:04:00.001-07:00

White supremacist dick that he may be , I just can NOT get him out of my head ..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc4vcEoWBFw&playnext_from=TL&videos=hKUjs2fxYDs&feature=grec

"Steady my breathing, silently screaming I have to have you now"

xx

Faffing

2010-05-07T15:40:00.001-07:00

I have an elective report to write, an asthma OSCE mark sheet to conjure and year book photographs to choose. But I continue to do what I do best. Procrastinate. And thus I have turned to blogging!

Every time I have to do something important, I choose to postpone it. And I am yet to understand the inner workings of my mind 23 years down the line.

On the bright side, this will be the last elective report I write. The last year book. Not the last OSCE but hopefully the last exam of med school!

I have to pass. I have a lot of books, waiting to be read.

What you do with what you got

2010-04-03T15:29:00.000-07:00

"'Cause it's not just what you're born with
It's what you choose to bear
It's not how much your share is
But it's how much you can share
And it's not the fights you've dreamed of
But those you really fought
It's not just what you're given
It's what you do with what you've got "

-Si Khan ( as far as my internet search goes)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLhgb2ZntDw&feature=related

Rant begins

2010-03-30T14:27:00.000-07:00

I take that back! If was the swearing kind I'd say ****ety-****!!
This weather is outrageous!
I know I am starting to sound English,complaining about the weather but how can one not?

Grey skies heavy clouds. Weighted down. Seeming ever ready to fall on one's head. But instead it decides to piss occasionally. With winds that turn umbrella's against their owners (namely me!)

GRRRR! I WANT SUNSHINE! AND WARM WEATHER AND I WANT IT NOW!!!

Rant over

What I'd give for a day like :

Or

Or

Sigh..

2010-03-21T04:21:00.000-07:00

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.
-- Virginia Satir

The mundane

2010-02-27T09:49:00.000-08:00

-the washing line , middle of winter '10-

Someone today said its four days left to spring. Frankly, I have mixed feelings about it. The flowers ,yes! The bogged nose, cough and itchy throat ,not! I fret thinking about the hay fever mornings. But what worries me more is that, I think I like England in winter. Terrifying thought.

For your love of stupa's

2009-09-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

Hope you like it short-shorts! I'm sorry I'm not coming down to Queensland, but I will soon.

A goat and 63yrs in total

2009-07-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

The suffering in Sri Lanka

2009-05-06T17:17:00.000-07:00

I know it's a line we've all heard, but every little will help at this moment.

The link below is for the 1st 'independant' report out of Sri Lanka of the camps used to house IDP's.
http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/politics/international_politics/grim+scenes+at+sri+lankan+camps+/3126257

One can argue about the politics of this war, whose right and what should be done. But (and I know it's wrong to say this) what's happening is happening, there is no stopping the govt. of Sri Lanka so one might as well help the people directly in all this mess. At the end of the day, it is not land or one's ethnicity that matters right?

The two links below enables you to donate to the IDP's in Sri Lanka. 1 GBP can make a big difference in Sri Lanka. Please do if you can.

http://www.muslimaid.org/index.php/component/content/article/2-current-campaigns/312-sri-lanka-crisis

OR

http://www.icrc.org/Web/Eng/siteeng0.nsf/htmlall/helpicrc?OpenDocument

Thank you.
Love, mufee

South West London

2009-04-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

-Tooting Bec Common, March '09-

Just when you least expect it, there's something delightful around the corner!

Currently in love with

2009-04-09T04:49:00.000-07:00

Comfort you - by Eskimo Joe

"Owww owwww
I will come, come to comfort
i will come, to comfort you
ohhhhh ohhhhh
i will come, come to comfort you
i will come, come to comfort you
ohhh ohhh "

Must be the simplest lyrics to any song! The music to put it simply is 'bloody awesome'!

When in a situation- a difficult one!

2009-04-03T13:42:00.000-07:00

If you find yourself asked to do something you don't want to do on the wards/theatre/clinic, here is somethings you can do..

1. Stand up to your consultant/ registrar and tell them you don't think it's right and you feel uncomfortable about it ( I personally would not have the guts to do this)
2. Pretend to be ill/ not yourself/ not up to the task
3. Wonder out loud how ethical the situation is
4. Pretend to be confused/ignorant of the laws/ethics applying to the situation ( this is particularly good, because you aren't laying blame on your senior but on yourself but you'd make them think about it too)
5. Kindly decline ( though I doubt this would go down well in the later years)
6. Get on with it and seek counselling after

2009-03-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

I actively avoid thinking about it. Because of guilt. And despair. And then I realize I shouldn't be ignoring it and feel even guiltier.

Because they tell us ,'the soldiers are dying for our safety'. They tell us,'we are fighting for our rights'. And what do you say when we are all Sri Lankan? I don't want to take sides. I don't agree with either side's policy of 'killing'. You could say it's a whole load of other things, but at the end of the day, it is a loss of lives. Either of a Sri Lankan soldier, a little child in the war zone, a civillian in a suicide bomb attack or an LTTE cardre. Someone's child. Freedom 'might' be worth lives but isn't this just a very long dragged out money making scheme? Isn't it supposed to be the 'democratic' socialist republic of Sri lanka?

And so I avoid thinking about my fellow Sri Lankans. The 2000 or so civillians who've died since the beginning of this year in the North of the country. The 100's and 1000's of internally displaced persons. I ignore that there is no freedom of speech in the country, that aid to those affected is limited and that an entire generation of little Sri Lankans have been involved in the war. And know only of it.

What does one do? Other than donate to NGO's? Other than write a blog post? Other than swallow that horrible taste of guilt,fear,sorrow and unease... And move on?

Fond

2009-02-14T13:56:00.000-08:00

-iPhone , Galle Face Green-

5 weeks was long enough I suppose till I finally felt the pangs of longing for home. All of a sudden I miss it all. The late night coffee sessions, the long phone conversations and the girlies. Annoying brothers, the calls for 'thaatchi' and most of all, mum and dad..

Nangi

2009-02-07T18:09:00.000-08:00